LIFE.......

Love
Instruction
Friendship
Everyone

This is the new acronym that I have learned recently. It all started out about a year ago when we found out that Dave's ex was dating a sex offender. I can't tell you how much our life was flipped upside down. Thank God, that Harley had been spending time with us for much of the time. See we have a joint visitation agreement that we fought tooth and nail to get (because honestly, Utah is still a woman state and a guy can't really get custody unless something drastic happens.) Sad but true. After Dave had talked with several different attorneys when they were getting divorce he told Jennifer that she could have Harley for now, but he would be waiting for her to mess up. How did we know that it would be such a huge fuck up.

So during the winter, she started to date this guy who she named Hank. We had custody of Harley during that time and it was only every other weekend that Harley would see Hank. Mind you we never knew anything really about him just that he wasn't working, but looking for work and that he had a Harley motorcycle. It wasn't until she had been dating him for about 4 months before a big "fake" ring showed up on her finger. Of course at that time we were curious.....is she engaged? If when, why hasn't she said anything.....and Harley wasn't a book of information.

I had a mutual friend and of course she was more than willing to call and ask the questions that was burning inside of me. Little did I know that Dave's ex was holding back tons of information from us and putting her own child in harms way. After my friend got off of the phone with her, she called me immediately and told me that I needed to have a seat because she had some news that was going to be hard to take. CRAP....

My friend then told me everything that Dave's ex told her....it wasn't just information, but it was also bragging in the worst possible sense. Hank wasn't even his real name....first blow.....he was a registered sex offender......second blow.....he had been in jail for nine years for a rape of a child.....third blow....after that I don't remember much else....I was frantically searching every site that could help me identify this guy some more. The more I dug the worse I felt. Immediately I was on the phone with Dave and then we were calling attorneys, police departments....the works to find out what we could do. This was our chance to get Harley......full custody.....this is what we had been praying for....not quite this way, but you get my point.

After talking with the Department of Corrections at 4:30 p.m. on Thursday, they had taken immediate action and Hank (Hyrum real name) was in custody and back in jail within 15 min of our conversation.....we didn't find out until 8:30 p.m. that night. They told us everything that happened and told us that we would kept posted on any other developments......ok..round 1 completed....of to round two.....protective order......on Friday, we talked with several different attorneys....they were not quite sure how to go about everything and it wasn't until Monday that we got the best advice....

Monday we went down to the Court house and filed protective orders against Hank and the ex. We had to fill out so much paper work and then wait for the judge to evaluate our claims and then sign the order for us to get Harley.....It was such an emotional roller coaster.....after we had turned in the papers and talked with DCFS....the secretary told us that it might be 5 min to 2 hr. wait. we decided to go back to work and wait. not 10 min after we left did Dave get the phone call saying that the judge had approved our protective order and that we should go and get our son from the ex. Oh, freak'n happy day. When we got to the daycare, Dave went inside and gave copies of all paperwork to the people...I was waiting outside when the ex showed up....are you kidding me?? Is this going to be bad?? Nope....Dave kept his cool and thank goodness I was seat belted in the car because I almost lost it myself. Now it has been a year that Harley has been living safely with us and we come back to the first part of this blog......Life....

During this whole process with the ex and getting custody we kept praying that if things went the right way and we got custody we would go back to church. Ok....it is easier said than done though. For us it is really that life got in the way. Dave works a lot during the summer and sometimes Sunday was the only real day that we got to see him for the whole day. We are selfish and wanted to spend as much time with each other as we could. Now that we have Harley we have had some other reasons why we should really be back in a church. This one came out of thin air......

One morning Harley was sitting at the breakfast table with us and was asking so many questions like he normally does, but then we got this one....."Who is God?" CRAP.....Dave and I looked at each other and we both knew that now is the time......God was pulling at us in the most intimate way possible....our son!

Both of us was raised with God in our lives and we knew who he was and what he offered, but now here was our son asking questions, really he should already know. Dave and I knew that it was time. No more procrastinating or excuses. Harley had the right to find out for himself and decided what he wanted to believe. This is where LIFE comes back again.

LIFE Church is the church that is just down the road from our house. We drive by it every day and always say that we should go and check it out, but never have. So this last Sunday, Dave, Harley and I got up, got dressed and then filed out to the car......Harley excited, Dave guarded, and of course....me.....freaked out!!!

I am not sure what I was expecting, but it was nothing like I experienced. First, we were greeted at the door and the guy took us to where we needed to take Harley and then the next thing we were taken to the sanctuary where the service was about to begin. The topic which was to be talked about was "Hanging on to Hope" or something like that.....can't quite remember everything.....

During the first part of the service we were all asked to stand up and introduce ourselves to our neighbors....the person to my left was a nice lady that was older....then I turn around and there was a girl with her husband that was our age....(interesting) she was so happy to meet me (ok a little weird) she even shook my hand and then I think that we hugged (not quite sure, but starting to feel at ease, weird). She introduced me to her husband and then to another lady that she was sitting next to and her husband....then she blurted out about a small group meeting that we just had to go to that night with them......(ok....freaked)....but then the service started. She said that we would talk more later...

During the service, Dave and I did a lot of looking at each other....and smiling.....what was this?? Dave happy? Smiling? a little more weird, but as the preacher spoke the more we looked at each other and we both knew that we were suppose to be here today for some reason, for some purpose, for some divine intervention....Oh, goodness.....did I just say that? Yep. It seemed like the whole service was for us and about what we were going through.

One of the things that stuck in my head was when the preacher was talking about how life is kinda like Good Friday, Saturday, and then Easter Sunday.....sometimes we are stuck in the middle and waiting for the celebration of Easter Sunday to come and that we should just be patience and it will come. Ok...that is totally what it is like right now....we had our Good Friday (getting temp. custody of Harley) now we are just waiting (Saturday) to hear when we are able to have full permanent custody (Easter Sunday) with child support issued.

After the service, Susan (the girl behind me) gave me a note with her phone number and information about the small group that they were doing later that night. Dave and I said thanks and that we would think about it. We went and got Harley and spent the rest of the day talking about what was said, how we felt and if we should continue going.

I ended up doing some laundry and asked Dave if I should wash any shirts of his and he said, "this is dirty, but I will keep this one so I could wear it tonight when we go to that thing." What??? Did I hear wrong? We are now going? Ok.....I look at him, he looked at me and then the next thing that he tried to do was back out of what he had said. I said oh, no you don't. We are going. This is something that looks like we need.

So, there is was 5:45 p.m. and we are on our way to some strangers house that we had never met and there was going to be more people there that we had to talk to and get to know....could we do it? We got there real early and ended up driving around for 15 min so we would be the first ones there. We got there and was immediately welcomed and pounced upon. Everyone was so friendly and welcoming. Dave and I actually felt at peace and comfortable. Everyone talked to us and Harley immediately fit in with the other kids that was running around and tearing everything up.....that was hard for me....I had to have several talks with Harley about respecting others stuff, but everyone just kept telling me he was fine and not to worry.

As the night progressed the more comfortable I felt and the more Dave was talking, laughing, and smiling......wow, new side to Dave. This was nice....I kept thinking....After we all talked and ate food, the kids went up stairs to watch a movie and we all gathered in the living room to talk more about the service we had earlier in the day. We were encouraged to share our feeling and what was shared stayed in the room. It was so wonderful to hear the experiences and feelings that we talked about. At the end, we closed with a prayer and I couldn't help look at Dave during the prayer.....oh yea he was totally smiling and looked so calm and relaxed. I haven't seen this side of him ever. It was awesome.

So, now.....are you wondering what is going to happen next?? Are we going back?? Is this something for us to make a part of our daily lives?? I am not sure, but I do want to go back and I think that we will.....I feel at peace with this decision and Harley......he says that he met God on Sunday and wants to go back.....so for his sake we will......more to come I am sure.

St. Patty's Day.......

So a couple of years ago, our office was in the middle of this huge case and unfortunately for me I had a lot of work to do before going home. We were to have a couple attorneys on the other side was to come over to our office to look through boxes and boxes of documents and I was in charge of labeling them all. It happened to be St. Patrick's day on the day that I had to stay late. Luckily for me I didn't really have anything planned and wasn't feeling too sad to be staying at the office late, but what did my wandering eye appear.....but my lovely boss with two bottles of green beer and fish and chips for the both of us. Talk about how cool is that!!! We ate our dinner and drank our beer and finished labeling all the documents with a nice little warm glow.


This year was a little different......we didn't have any messy case or needy clients, so we were able to run out and have a nice enjoyable lunch at Bohemian Brewery. We had so much fun drinking our green beer (again)....................................


having a wonderful lunch of salad, soup, and an awesome grilled cheese (gourmet style).











After our wonderful lunch, it was back to work and signing up new clients. I am now beginning to love St. Patty's Day even if it is just for the wonderful green beer.

After work was all done though, it was time to go home and I had a fantastic surprise waiting for me for dinner. Dave had decided that he wanted to try and cook Corn Beef and Cabbage for dinner......




all I can say is after we had it on the table it was gone in 5 seconds (well, not really that long, but it felt that way) flat. It was so yummy and not greasy or anything. Harley kept asking for more and more and more.....





he even enjoyed the cabbage and had two big helpings of it. Dave kept asking us if it was good and we couldn't say anything until it was all gone because (1) our mouths were full (2) we kept shoveling it in (3) we were just enjoying it too much. Yes honey it was totally awesome!!!!!