I can not believe that it is now the middle of April. The flowers are springing, the grass is green, and my sweet adorable husband is off working....some where around the State. If anyone doesn't know by now, my husband is new the Foreman for Morgan Asphalt.
This is a very happy day for us. Well, actually it has been a couple of months ago that they announced that he would be a new foreman. He has been turning it down for a couple of years now and last year he finally made the decision that if they offered the position to him again he would take on the challenges.
So many changes has happened in our short marriage, but they have all been wonderful. Adjustments....yes, but ones taken on with happy hearts and love. If anyone knows me, by now you all know that I have had a couple issues trying to understand my roll as a new mom.....to a growing boy. I have been freaking out ever since we have gotten full custody of our little Harley. I keep thinking that there is something wrong with him and that something happened to him and he doesn't want to talk about it. Under the circumstances that we got him, no one really blames me, but I.....one of an educated soul, has now taken on the roll of mom and now I sit morning and night worrying if I am doing everything right.
Oh, yea, it is me the one who over reacts when he doesn't get 10 out of 10 on a spelling test. When he misses one on a math homework.....the one that makes him do writing, journaling, spelling and reading until he is talking in his sleep. I have now come to the conclusion that I need to back off a bit and relax. I have come to this conclusion with the help of my new friends at Church.
I have been loving this new Church that we have been going to......oh, yea, I did just say that. Dave and I first just went to this new Church to help Harley and really it is me that they have helped. I have new friends that are moms. They all have kids that are around Harley's age. They have called me, praying with me and for me, they have talked with me and counseled with me. I am now starting to know what is a boy thing and what I should be concerned about.
One afternoon I went out to lunch with one of my new friends, Erin, and her two kids. At an Arctic Circle, I learned all about how it is ok to be worried and stressed, but for some of the things that I had been worried and stressed over I didn't need to be. It was ok for my son to be a little wild at school and that it is ok if he plays a little rough with others. Erin also gave me a book called "New kid by Friday." So far it is a great book that I have learned a lot from, now I just need to figure out how to use those lessons into our situation.
For the last three weeks, Harley has been getting into fights at school. I am not sure how much of the fighting is really believable. I think that he has been labeled as a trouble maker and his friends that he likes, probable are not my first choice, but at the same time this is his life and he has to learn to make good choices. We have taught him what is right and what is wrong and now we just have to be consistent in our decision and in our punishments with him. This fighting at school really has had me on edge the last couple of weeks. I have felt like a failure and a screw up as a mom. When did he learn that it was ok to tell someone that he was going to kill them? This did not come from our home!!!
The girls from Church has rallied around me and told me that it was not me that was a failure, but that he was being a boy. At MOPS one night I had a new friend tell me that she had taken classes to be a foster mom and one thing that they told her was that kids have a "honeymoon" period......here is me....what? I thought that was just for married adults....but alas it is not it is for all relationships.....wow...that is news to me, but it does explain a lot of things. (1) we have now had Harley for a year, (2) he is comfortable with his surroundings and feeling secure that he is testing his boundaries with us. This has been one of the most comforting things that I have found out. He is comfortable with us and knows that he is safe. Now who carries about the testing the boundaries....I can handle that as long as I know that he is safe everything else can be put at the back of my mind.....well, almost....I am still me after all worry-wart and all.....
